I am 34 years old. I was born in the UK and moved to Spain in 2015 with my then husband and two cats. Since then I have got divorced, acquired 3 more cats and a dog, as well as many fish, although I only have three left. In 2019 I met my fiance on Plenty of Fish just as I was about to delete the app. We talked for a week or so and then we finally met up. He was shy, I was shy so I ended up showing him pictures of all the cats for about 4 hours! Fast forward 6 years and Saturday 8th February 2025 I got a phone call telling me he had died. This blog is just my ramblings since then. I do write to him on my phone but not sure how much of a good idea that is as if I don’t write to him much I feel guilty. I also feel guilty that I am not crying 24/7 although I cry enough and I know for certain he would HATE me to cry, he hated seeing me sad and he would (I think) be proud of how I am “coping”.